Musing

Forgetting

Now and then you’re here
In the air
The smell of old books
Something like that
It’s you

My first love
That tore me up
Ripped me apart
Fed me to the wolves

Ghosts

Here you are, my most unwelcome spirit
Casting shadows of blue in my world
Though I am the sky, my stars bright
My heart is black
But yours is blacker
Black with malice
Mine, black with depth
Your invasion left scars and stains
But my whirling passion engulfed them
And turned them into flames
Fires by which I can live
Endless stories of pain to fuel them
Boundless and new emptiness to fill
Your cracks are papered already
As I knew they would be
Without that paper you cease to be
So clear from the start that was to me
My wild eyes saw your soul
As it escaped through your morbid eyes
Shrouding me in bleakness
Until I could but whisper my own name
Then in that blistering supernova at the end of time, I was born with a new wound
And you walked away covered in my ashes
Carried them into your next world
Unchanged and obvious
Still you protest to my wisdom
Still you act your life
Still you search for yourself in others
I want to tell you that it’s futile
But silence is my power now
As it was your weapon before
We are ghosts
Haunting each others worlds
But I’ll never show you where I lay
It’s far too late to pay your respects anyway

Waves

The shipwreck looked like her
Drowning in her tears
Surrounded by the sparkle of moonlight
And stars and aeroplanes
Half under and half afloat
She sits
The mast of her life keeping her heart dry
And her soul in little boxes
Adrift on his sea
Those rapid and angry waves
In that cruel ocean

Poor roses

You have roses in your garden
But they are lies
How can something so beautiful belong to someone so ugly
Your false rose bed is where I must’ve lived
Under the dirt
Under your love
With the worms and the damp and roots
Your false roses grow up full and bright
But I know they know who they belong to
Because so did I
I knew. And so do they.
They never say anything though
They’re not clever enough
They’re too mild so they endure under your falsehood and they will until they die
I suppose I did say something
Otherwise I don’t suppose I’d be here now
It would be another version entirely
The one you tried to create
Perhaps unwittingly
I don’t know anymore
But I’ll always think of those poor roses
Growing for you
Being bright and brilliant for you
You never deserved any of it

She is the sky

Dead night

I listened to the dawn
But she was dripping with melancholy and I needed hope
Sleep, you were not my friend last night
Showing me the horror of my mind
I fell under the neon sky
With needle eye love
And the beacons in my heart ablaze
With grief and gratitude
My mind, a prisoner of a heart in hell
Soul torn to pieces
Skin crawling blue
Awake with venom
Sleep with demons dancing to the tune of the moon
Day illuminates the shadows cast by broken hearts
And minds
And songs
Coffin nails
Golden pillow of dawn
Dusk, please come with haste
Happiness evades when it should envelop
I need the stars
I need the black, vast sky
I need the sounds of the night
I will die each night with the moonlight on my face
And I will love with my unabated heart of dreams
And I will forget my name to become an angel of Nephthys, goddess of the dead night.

October moon

Bottle