Why do I want to cry or smile?
To feel human
But what the hell is that anyway
Why do I want to read his sleaze?
To feel validated
To romanticise everything bad
Why do I want to see a severed head?
Why do I want to feel disgust?
To feel fear
He said: ‘kid, stop with the whys’
I said, instinctively: ‘why?’
He said:
And I’m still waiting


The rhythm of her life

Vanquished in her celestial time
Like an old star or cosmic apparition

She once had dominion over your heart, and many others

But alas her grip loosened, her bright beams faded so

Until she was but a sheen, a faint wisp in the night full of her Gods

The Gods that relinquished her to her black nothingness

Queen for all eternity of the broken hearts of men

A low moon in a starless sky
Cold, irreverent and unaided

And when the clouds come by she sings your song

And when the rain falls she cries for you, masked by the glimmering droplets of nature

And in the deepest darkness before the dawn she prays to her Gods

For you, for her, for her heart that lies in a jar behind the bluest and most lustrous star.

She prays.


Painting her nails
There with red wine in a tumbler
Because she saw a French movie once and they were drinking it like that
She sips, a little escapes and runs down the side of her mouth, out of rouged lips onto pale skin
She wipes it with a finger, being careful not to smudge the polish
That’s green, like a pond or something
She thinks it’s quirky and
Fits with her depraved spirit somehow
I like that about her
But I don’t tell her
But I accept her that way
Sad and angry and in love and imperfect
Aesthetically pleasing through mediums foreign to me
But man it works
So why question it
Black crosses around her neck
Unusual underwear
No trousers
Band tee shirts
Ankle socks or bare feet
Strangely gratifying twinkle in her eye
Like an invite and a slap in the face all at once
Little tattoos about the earth and moon and words and music
Costume jewellery
Nose ring
Tears in her eyes


Ensure I don’t wonder within the night
Keep me in darkness away from light
Chant and sing ‘oh protect us please’
Lest I force you to your knees

Cut my beating heart from my black chest
Place my head between my legs
Let me lie like a vampiress
For I need my love laid to rest